she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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