Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
