you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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