I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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