My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
