Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
