i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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