The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
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I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
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Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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