If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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