She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
