"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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