when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
