I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
