using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
