I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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