i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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