You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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