does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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