ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
