too bad you live with your parents still
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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