hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
