Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Randomize
