do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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