I am puke
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
