True but thats because hes a fetus.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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