Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
