you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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