Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
