I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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