i would punch a child for taco bell
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
