Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
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This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
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Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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