the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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