how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
