hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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