dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
