I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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