i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
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He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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