How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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