Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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