i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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