Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
