I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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