bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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