i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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