I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
