Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
