mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
