He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Oh god it's open bar.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize