That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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