I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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