your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
