I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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