Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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