You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
