I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
