I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
