Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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