her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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