Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
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You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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