Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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