Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
