we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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