Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize
