I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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