your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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