There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
