grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
home. puking in laundry basket.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
