You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize