halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
