your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
