Dual....:-)
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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