I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
