I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
