It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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