Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
