Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize