roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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