Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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